“Do the best you can!”

It’s a saying we’ve all heard, read, and probably said more times than we can count.
And on the surface, it sounds like solid advice. But what if it is not.

As we head into the second half of the year, many of you are probably feeling tired – especially those of us in the southern parts of the world.

📆 30 June is the year end in Australia.

🏢 Companies are busy.

💼 Professionals are busy.

🧒🧣Kids are on school holidays, but it is cold and miserable outside and a holiday is not an option ATM.

🌧️🌍☀️ And watching our friends enjoying sunshine in the warmer parts of the world, can make it hard to get out of bed in the morning!

As you know, we live in a world that celebrates performance, progress, and pushing for more.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not against this. In fact, I’ve chased goals, growth and achievement my whole life.
But here’s the thing…

Sometimes, that little phrase – “do your best” – brings with it unintended pressure and expectations.
Instead of motivating us, it can leave us feeling like we’re falling short.
Like we should be doing more. Being more. Achieving more.
And when we don’t, it can feel devastating.

I used to say it a lot.
To myself.
To my daughters.
Until a conversation with another mum shifted my perspective.

At the time, both of our girls were at a school that ran a year-long outdoor education program in Year 9. No phones, no internet, just handwritten letters and a whole lot of challenge.
It was an incredible experience. But also, undeniably tough.

Some letters home were full of grit, pride and achievement. Others? Not so much.
Tears. Exhaustion. Pleas to come home.
And as a mum, I wanted to scoop them up and say, “It’s okay. You don’t have to do hard things.”

But instead, I said, “You’ve got this. Do the best you can.”
Because I believed in the value of resilience. Of pushing through. Of discipline, not merely motivation.
Until one day, another mum helped me see things differently.

She said: “When we say ‘do your best,’ our kids often hear ‘do your absolute best ever.’”

That’s when I realised something.

We all have days when our absolute best, e.g., running marathons (well, for some, not me 😊), smashing deadlines, showing up with 100% energy, is just not possible.
Maybe the best you can do today is 5km.
Maybe it’s getting out of bed.
Maybe it’s pausing long enough to breathe.

While it doesn’t always feel like it – these responses don’t mean you’re failing.
It means you’re human.

So I changed my language.
Instead of “Do your best” I started saying:
“Do the best you can… today.”
And we made up our own family shorthand for this: RHG – which stood for “Red Hot Go”.

It was our reminder to be honest with ourselves.
To give it whatever we could in that moment, with the energy, clarity and capacity we had that day.
No guilt. No comparison. Just presence and effort.

As I said, I believe in grit and discipline too.
And I also believe in grace and compassion.
It’s not about one or the other. It’s about knowing when to dig deep AND when to be kind to yourself.

💭 So what about you?
How do you navigate those days when your “best” doesn’t feel like enough?
What helps you show up honestly, without burning out?

#RHG #resilience #selfleadership #PowerofInfinity