Ever noticed how movies can deliver life lessons or emotional breakthroughs – all while you sit on the couch, popcorn in hand?
In my work and life, as a colleague, mother, sister, aunty, daughter, wife and friend, emotions come up a lot.
Growing up, we were taught to split emotions into two buckets: positive (like joy, pride, love) and negative (like anger, sadness, anxiety). The goal was to chase the good ones and avoid or eliminate the bad.
But over the past decade or so, that mindset has shifted. We’ve learned that emotions aren’t good or bad, they are just signals. Clues to what we’re experiencing. And instead of trying to get rid of the tough ones, we now talk about recognising, navigating and managing them.
Two movies that bring this to life beautifully are Inside Out 1 & 2. I watched the first one with my daughters. The second? I saw that on my own – and loved it! In fact, I watched it again just last week.
There’s one powerful scene towards the end of movie 2, where Riley (the young girl) is having a panic attack. Her “flower of emotions” is reforming, and we hear a swirl of voices:
“I’m not good enough.”
“I’m a good person.”
“I’m brave.”
“I get scared sometimes.”
As Joy (one of the emotions) watches, she finally hugs the emotions flower… and then the other emotions follow. The moment passes. The panic attack subsides and Riley returns to her friends.
That scene had so much in it – for young and old alike.
Because it reminds us: all emotions matter. Even the messy, uncomfortable ones. They all play a role. There is no courage without fear. No joy without sadness. (In fact, in the second movie, Joy says to Sadness: “Wherever I go, you go.” Showing that Joy understands that her and Sadness are intertwined).
So maybe the goal isn’t to eliminate difficult emotions. Maybe it’s to learn from them. To honour them. To let them come and eventually go, without letting them take over, i.e., without living there.
❓ What’s one emotion you used to avoid… but now understand better?
❓Have you found your own way to listen to the full spectrum of how you feel?
