I was speaking to someone recently. She is smart, capable, hardworking, and incredibly good at her job… someone who always goes above and beyond. The exact kind of person you’d want on your team.

She told me she was frustrated with her job. Not the work itself, not with the clients and not the people. But how she was being valued (or in her mind, not valued).

She’d done her homework.

She knew what others in similar roles were earning. She understood how her performance compared within the business and externally. She wasn’t just doing the basics – she was always putting her hand up for the extra projects, the reels and socials that needed filming and publishing, the events that needed planning and running. She knew what impact her contribution was making. She had the data – the evidence, the results, the customer feedback.

And yet… nothing was changing.

So I asked a simple question: “Have you spoken to your boss about it?”

She paused. Then said: “Well sort of. Not really.”

Sort of. Not really.

What followed wasn’t about capability. It wasn’t about whether she done the work and deserved more. It was about something else entirely. It was about fear.

∞ “What if they say no?”

∞ “What if it changes how they see me?”

∞ “What if I get it wrong?”

∞ “What if I sound like an entitled Gen-Z’er?”

So instead… she stayed quiet and just kept doing what she was doing. And over time, something else started to happen.

The frustration grew, her energy and enthusiasm for a job she once loved dropped. And the stories and self talk got louder.

∞ “They don’t value me.”

∞ “I’m falling behind.”

∞ “Everyone else is getting ahead.”

And this is the part I see often.

We think we’re avoiding a difficult conversation. But we’re not. We’re just having it… with ourselves.

And those internal conversations? They’re rarely balanced, rarely objective and almost never helpful.

I was reminded of something I heard recently when Mel Robbins interviewed Seth Godin. There’s a difference between a situation and a problem.

A situation is something you can’t change. A problem is something you can – and every problem has a solution (you just may not like the solution). 😉

What really stuck with me from this observation from Seth: If something has been sitting there for a while… and nothing is changing… it’s probably not because there’s no solution. It’s because the solution requires a conversation you don’t really want to have.

Sometimes the opportunity isn’t missing. The conversation is.

∞    A conversation that might feel uncomfortable.

∞    A conversation where the answer might be no.

∞    A conversation where something might change.

But one thing’s usually for certain… not having the conversation? That changes things too – the frustration builds, the energy and love of the job drops, and the story in your head gets louder.

Because in my experience… the longer we avoid the conversation, the more it costs us.

This newsletter is about those conversations.  The ones we have. And the ones we don’t.

Some questions I’ll leave you with are:

∞ Which discomfort are you choosing?

∞ What’s the conversation you’ve been avoiding… even though you know it matters?

Because you never know which conversation will matter… and maybe, just maybe, you might get what you have been seeking (or perhaps something even better) – but at the very least, you’ll know where you stand.