I was recently catching up with a former colleague – a senior partner in a professional services firm. We talked about life, careers, and what makes people (especially employees) happy.

She shared a story:
The team had been working some long hours due to a tight client deadline. Over lunch, a younger team member commented, “𝘐𝘧 𝘸𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘴, 𝘸𝘦’𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘪𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴.”
It made me stop and wonder – is that really it? Discounted coffee?

Now, don’t get me wrong. Cheaper coffees and maybe gym memberships are 𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗸𝘀 (especially with coffee prices these days!) and many total compensation packages can, should and do, include these. But perks like these rarely get to the 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗳𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗱. [𝘚𝘐𝘋𝘌 𝘕𝘖𝘛𝘌: 𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬, 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘭𝘭 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘐 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 (𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘵𝘰𝘱𝘪𝘤 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘢𝘺)].

The challenge I see, based on 1000’s of conversations I’ve had across my career and life, is that many people 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁. When asked, they give answers – but often not the 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭 answers. Not the deeper truth about what would actually make them feel fulfilled, valued, or aligned.

That’s why we need to empower people – employees, colleagues, even our kids and friends – to pause and ask:
∞ Who am I?
∞ What do I want (or in the words of the Spice Girls, what do I really, really want)?
∞ What makes me feel fulfilled, not just temporarily happy?

Until we do this deeper work, people will keep asking for “things” – discounts, perks, quick fixes – and still wonder why they don’t feel fulfilled, why this is not solving the problem.

How clear are 𝘺𝘰𝘶 about what you want? And what about those around you?

(And if coffee really is your thing – tell me: what flavour and discount would sweeten the deal on those long hours? ☕)